- The god of death, the wind, the underworld, the ever-burning entrance to hell, the knife-edge, poison, serpent, and fire - women are all of these in one.
- All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific.
- Though I am not naturally honest, I am so sometimes by chance.
- Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.
- Of the delights of this world, man cares most for sexual intercourse, yet he has left it out of his heaven.
- Be good and you will be lonely.
- But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?
(Some are obviously quotes, bits of comedy routines and so forth but they aren't attributed.)
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