Saturday, June 16, 2007

Word Imperfect

energizerbunny.jpgAt Word Imperfect everyday the author chooses an obscure word and posts the definition then invites people to make up defintions. There are quite a few participants each day.

Kymograph

A kymograph sounds like an instrument for measuring the sound of high heel shoes on various floor surfaces. It would be used by design engineers to choose the ideal floor surface in places like shopping malls in order to keep noise levels down.
  • Kymograph (v.) To Kymograph is to dance like Kylie Minogue.
  • Kymograph, also Cymograph. A tool used to measure waviness in all things. erived from Greek Mythology as told in the Theogony - a well told poem by Hesiod. Kymo was one of the 50 Nereids who were the daughters of Nereus (The Old Man of the Sea) and Doris (The Daughter of Okeanos who was one of the original Titans. Kymo translates roughly as 'the wavy one' as her hair was so ... well ... wavy.
  • Kymograph (n): device used for measuring the swelling level of pregnant women's ankles. It uses a scale of 1 (not swollen at all) to 200 (about to explode). Example: Mergatroid was shocked to read the kymograph's reading of 199 because in her opinion, her ankles *felt* normal. Then again, she hadn't actually seen her ankles for over two weeks. Ah, well, as they say, Kymographs never lie!
  • Kymograph: Measuring the activity of children. Some are like the Energizer Bunny (keeps on going, and going, and...), couch potatoes (how much time is spent watching TV, playing Nitendo, on the computer, etc.). Many observed a big difference in the kymographs of children at the beginning of summer to the end of summer. Some get restless and bored by the end of summer and some are just as active as usual.
  • Kymograph - an instrument for recording the moment-by-moment stress level of those betting on the Kentucky Derby. Most often used by wives on their husbands to see if they are really telling the truth about not betting on the horses anymore. "Just before Barbaro crossed the finish line, Martin's kymograph reading was off the charts and he knew he'd be sleeping on the couch tonight."

Jobation

A jobation is a lengthy reprimand. I have a tendency to enter a period of jobation every now and again with my children. However, they soon let me know when I've made my point and the jobation is complete.
  • JOBATION (n): Originating from the story of Job in the Bible; means to bitch and/or moan about your life. An act of JOBBING (v).
  • JOBATION-It originated from the word 'JOB'which means, 'the work done in anticipation of money in return'. I do embroidery as a hobby.. when I change this hobby to a job, that process is called 'Jobation' e.g. I am planning to jobate my hobby of doing embroidery on silks.
  • Jobation: A drink in celebration of a fortuituos turn of events following a season of calamity. "I fancy a jobation, I do. I'm buyin'. Pint o' Guinness. Whadda you boys havin'?"
  • Jobation is the practice, increasingly more common nowadays, of reducing a company's official headcount numbers (thus making them look better in investors' eyes) by laying off permanent employees, and then hiring them back as contractors through temp agencies.

Nonage

Nonage actually describes being under age, a minor or immature. Quite the opposite of some of today's invented meanings. But that's a good thing in my book.
  • Nonage is your age between the time you were born and your first birth anniversary. So you dont exactly have a number to tell someone when they ask you how old you are. (or you're not old enough to understand the question)
  • Nonage refers to a person with no useful skill sets or academic training, as in "he's a nonage". Derived from the Latin "nonactius" (often used by Julia to describe her grandson Claudius).
  • Nonage is a plug or stopper designed to silence nagging wives. It comes in a larger size for men called a footnage. The kids one is flavoured and called a sucknage.
  • It's what happens when you turn 40 and get tired of getting older so you just stop. I'm a nonagent.
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