Monday, December 01, 2008

Top 10 Tabloid Headlines for December 2008

Though the Weekly World News no longer exists in print, here's the headlines from the archives of City Newstand in Chicago, for writing prompts or just for fun :-)

I haven't visited the City News Stand for a while but there was this report from The Spring 2008 MAGBAG at the City News Stand:

EVEN MORE NEW ISSUES OF THE WEEKLY WORLD NEWS?
— Special to the MAGBAG
Unconfirmed reports of new issues of the defunct Weekly World News continue to proliferate. An unemployed farmer claims to have seen an issue on sale at a Piggly Wiggly in Pascagoula, MS and a truck driver says he saw an issue at a truckstop in New Madrid, MO.
The Pascagoula copy was said to have contained the stories, 'ST. VALENTINE & CUPID WERE SECRET LOVERS!', 'JOHN MCCAIN ENDORSED BY UFO ALIEN' and , 'ELEPHANT SHUNNED BY HERD... after making love to a rhino!', while the truck driver could only remembers seeing the headline: 'DOIN' THE JAILHOUSE ROCK... 73-y.o. Elvis had been allowed to fake his death so fans wouldn't know he'd been jailed on drug charges!'
Subsequent trips to both stores found different magazines where the WWN issues had been said to be.

Will the reports of sitings of WWW continue as long as the reports of Elvis?


Top 10 Tabloid Headlines from DECEMBER 1998
  1. Raging elephants eat town's mail! -- WWN
  2. Man chokes to death while eating his hat! -- WWN
  3. SHOW-OFF DROPS DEAD AFTER EATING TWO TELEPHONE BOOKS -- WWN
  4. WOMAN GETS BIZARRE PHONE CALLS -- FROM HER DEAD AUNT! -- WWN
  5. Man tracks down long-lost father -- & blows him away! -- WWN
  6. $10,000 TRAINED FROG HOPS INTO TOILET BOWL -- and gets flushed down the commode! -- WWN
  7. Millions of frogs invading Iran! -- WWN
  8. SADDAM HUSSEIN ORDERS 60 CASES OF VIAGRA! -- WWN
  9. Arab terrorists using suicide apes against Israeli targets! -- WWN
  10. ABE LINCOLN WAS THE FATHER OF PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING! -- WWN

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