Top 10 tabloid headlines for September 2006

From The City Newsstand's (a newsstand/bookstore in Chicago) monthly MAGBAG -- Top 10 Tabloid Headlines. (Mostly from Weekly World News (WWN) and the SUN.) 

1. JACK THE RIPPER WAS A WOMAN! — SUN
   
2. STUDIO BUYS MOVIE SCRIPT FROM A CHIMP! — WWN
   
3. RESEARCHER CALCULATES A SNOWBALL'S CHANCE IN HELL TO BE .000000000134% — WWN
   
4. Michael Jackson wants to live with leprechauns — SUN
   
5. MICROSCOPIC SPACE ALIENS INFESTING CARPETS — WWN
   
6. UFO ALIENS ABDUCTED MY CAT! Now frisky Felix is home safe — and has a gift of ESP, says amazed owner — SUN
   
7. BARBER BLEEDS RED & WHITE STRIPED BLOOD! — WWN
   
8. SPEND IT WHILE YOU CAN! U.S. currency accidentally printed with disappearing ink! — WWN
   
9. ASTRONOMER DISCOVERS PLANET MADE ENTIRELY OF NOODLES — WWN
   
10. CREDIT CARD EXPLODES WHEN GAL GOES OVER LIMIT! — WWN