Top 10 tabloid headlines for January 2006

From The City Newsstand's (a newsstand/bookstore in Chicago) monthly MAGBAG -- Top 10 Tabloid Headlines. (Mostly from Weekly World News (WWN) and the SUN.)

Choose one as a writing prompt.

JANUARY 2006

1. DESPERATE HOUSEFLIES — WWN
   
2. BRAVE MARINE GIVES UP FINGER TO SAVE WEDDING RING! — SUN
   
3. LASER-CONTROLLED INSECTS COULD BE NEW TERRORIST WEAPON — SUN 
   
4. PREHISTORIC SNOWMAN FOUND! — WWN
   
5. COUPLES' ROUTINE WAS TO DIE FOR Tango dancer doesn't let partner's death keep them from finishing competition! — WWN
   
6. COUCH POTATOES ARE SMARTER! — SUN
   
7. TOWN SAVES MONEY BY BURYING LOVED ONES IN QUICKSAND — WWN
   
8. MAN DIES TAKING BULL BY HORNS! — WWN
   
9. Cat found with hoard of over 200 TONGUES! — WWN
   
10. THE WAY TO A MAN'S HEART IS NOT THROUGH HIS STOMACH! SURGEON'S LICENSE REVOKED — WWN