Top 10 tabloid headlines for December 2005

From The City Newsstand's (a newsstand/bookstore in Chicago) monthly MAGBAG -- Top 10 Tabloid Headlines. (Mostly from Weekly World News (WWN) and the SUN.)

Choose one as a writing prompt.

DECEMBER 2005

1. GNOMES OF DEATH — SUN
   
2. MAN REINCARNATED AS HIMSELF! — WWN
   
3. CAVE PAINTINGS REVEAL EXISTENCE OF PREHISTORIC INSURANCE SALESMAN! — WWN
   
4. ATTACK OF THE FLYING PLANTS! — WWN
   
5. CONGRESS PREPARES TO REPEAL THE LAW OF GRAVITY — WWN
   
6. Are you offended by naked animals? Then welcome to the . . . CIRCUS OF THE PRUDES — WWN
   
7. MAN HITS SNOOZE 892 TIMES—and strolls into work 5? days late! — WWN
   
8. SURVEY REVEALS BEST THINGS IN LIFE COST AT LEAST $5,000 — WWN
   
9. MAN POSES AS CPR DUMMY FOR WOMEN'S TRAINING CLASS — WWN
   
10. GRAVY TRAIN DERAILS — WWN