Top 10 tabloid headlines for November 2005

From The City Newsstand's (a newsstand/bookstore in Chicago) monthly MAGBAG -- Top 10 Tabloid Headlines. (Mostly from Weekly World News (WWN) and the SUN.)

Choose one as a writing prompt.

NOVEMBER 2005

1. Toads explode in ‘Pond of Death’ — SUN
   
2. EVIL LIFE-FORMS OOZE FROM VIDEO ARCADE AS . . . DEMONIC ELECTRO-PLASM SLIME TERRORIZES TOWN! — WWN
   
3. SODA JERK LIVES UP TO NAME — WWN
   
4. TORNADO HELPS FAMILY MOVE — WWN
   
5. BELCHING SWORD-SWALLOWER ACCIDENTALLY IMPALES AUDIENCE MEMBER — WWN
   
6. BARBARA BUSH TO JOIN ‘DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES’ — WWN
   
7. U.S. ARMY TO DRAFT SCHOOL CROSSING GUARDS TO MAKE ITS QUOTA! — WWN
   
8. Astronomer spots Elvis-shaped constellation! — WWN
   
9. DROMEDARY OF THE DEEP Undersea camels discovered! — WWN
   
10. PRISONER CHOKES TO DEATH ON LAST MEAL! — WWN